Well, we didn?t have much to begin with, a couple of old kernels that we had roasted. They were so precious there on the tarmac as we were leaving coney island. Samantha had said how she always dreamed of corn kernels on the boardwalk, so finding them where we did threw her off: she didn?t know what to think. Maybe I?m psychic, she?d say, jigglin? the kernels in her cupped hand. Poppa said, Stop foolin? around with them, first decent meal we?ve had and you go playin? them like they Mexican beans… momma said, You wish, and then she wouldn?t say much else after that. It?s one of the last things I remember her sayin?. The very last thing was, Well, never now, and that was it. It?s hard visitin? her at the nursin? home that she?s in now. Samantha hasn?t been there at all. Aggravates my ulcers, she once told me.
Well anyway, I?m gettin? off the point. I have a habit of doin? that, which was no good for school, bein? that we kept movin? around, I was never around a school long enough to know what attention meant. A teacher once said to me, Pay attention Marcus, and I?d turn all red as the other kids stared. We?re so cruel as kids, so full of ourselves and what we are, and I?d say, But I got no money Miss. The class would break out laughin?, I was real popular then, everyone thought I was crackin? jokes when I really just didn?t know what was goin? on half the time. Today, they call it attention deficiency disorder, my poppa called it, Plain old stupidity. But, I?m doin? it again, veerin? off, not that I have much to say, somethin? in me just remembers that day so clear, like the beach back then, before everyone forgot their manners.
On Saturdays, I keep thinkin? it was Saturdays because everybody talks to me about those great Saturday matinees, but I don?t think we ever went to the movies on Saturdays just because everybody else went on that day. Meanin? that it was more expensive than on other days, so probably me and Samantha went on Tuesday. I remember the streets bein? empty, and we wouldn?t want to leave the movie house, it?d be dark, so we?d run home, laughin? and terrified, holdin? onto each other?s arms, like we were in a potato sack race, our breaths as sweet as candy. We?d go and see somethin?, none of it I remember, even when I visit my sister, she?d say, Hey, there?s one of those movies we saw as kids on t.v., you always had a knack for timing. We?d look at the b&w set that her husband made such a big fuss about, and she?d ask me if I remembered this scene or that, I just sat there and nodded my head. Even when I had somethin? to say, I usually kept it in my mouth, stayed nice and warm there. so when I?d just nod my head, Samantha thought I was just bein? my usual self when I didn?t have a clue as to what I was watchin?.
It?s good not lettin? on what you know and don?t know, people tend to treat you nicer, I don?t care if they think I?m slow. It?s better that way, even if it was hard when I was growin? up, my sister had to hold my hand when we crossed the street up until I was thirteen. But it wasn?t because I was clumsy, don?t believe what they tell you, and I know what they say. The truth is that I just liked the feel of her hand tuggin? on mine, this soft thing around these paws, gentle but firm, as they?d say, gentle but firm. I think of those days, of runnin? home, of crossin? streets, of sharin? a bag of popcorn that we soaked to the top with so much butter that the sides of our clothes were stained with our hands wipin? it all off, and her starin? at the movie screen and me starin? at her.. Think of those days, her all goldilocks, and I stare out the window until my eyes fill with tears. I know what you?re thinkin? and it was never like that, even if it crossed my mind, like all of those stupid things that cross a boy?s mind does, but no. I just loved my sister a whole great deal that it was terrible.
But it was on that day, the day we found those hard roasted kernels that I remember the best, that I keep rememberin?, nothin? much comes after that. Hard to say it was when I was fifteen that we all went our separate ways, but we did. Me and Samantha had really disappeared into our little world for good, and poppa kinda just sat there doin? everythin? he could not to look at momma. I figure it was hard for him, he hadn?t worked out the best for her, Not quite the catch, he?d say and it?s hard not to look at someone when you?re around home all day, wherever home was. It always turned out to be someplace small, it was no surprise that we were usually climbin? over one another every mornin?.
What you need an alarm clock for? He?d ask Samantha the one time he felt we should stop movin? about and Sam was gettin? settled in school. I need it to wake up on time, I get no sleep with you all snoring to high hell. Poppa turned and pointed his finger at her, all rough like cement, watch yer mouth girl. Sam would point her finger at him, heavy with his drawl, sarcasm they call it, no, you watch dem smelly feet, stompin? all over us every mornin?, and they had this kinda standoff, and it hit poppa like a great idea. He?d started laughin?, Samantha still holdin? her ground, and then he?d nod his head, there?s yer alarm clock, I got em right here for ya, first thing. All through high school, right on the dot, poppa had his feet in her face, and every mornin? Samantha jumped up earlier and earlier to avoid them.