she reconfigures herself
just outside of my sight, as if i wasn’t
there or i would not notice that
her eye was no longer on me.
i could only shout
her name as if i was looking
when i was looking at her
but her eyes were closed
just like when i used to touch her,
but she knew it wasn’t
what she wanted
or so she said.
i had to laugh
because it was ridiculous
that she had me
there, when i couldn’t find her anymore
especially in my dreams, and now
she wasn’t dreaming.
maybe that’s why
the hurt was so big.