Sometimes I want to feel nothing
not die necessarily, just feel nothing
be nothing, stop all this feeling
I can’t stop this feeling anymore
the band never got it, or maybe they did and the producers, the engineers, the executives
made it into a pop song: I just can’t stop this feeling anymore
not this (particular) feeling (as opposed to that one)
but rather the being of feeling, this perpetual state of feeling, of roving, of in and out and sliding around the pores.
I just can’t stop this feeling anymore, this hounding at all the crevices
all the body is an obstruction with orifices
all we do is figure out ways to violate those orifices even more
I want to fuck you sometimes my love in such a way that I am consumed by your mound
that I disappear inside your vulva and am swallowed whole by your cervix
no. I do not crave the womb.
I want to be eaten by that which I drive into.
I want to a part of that which I rip apart.
I want to be the tearing and the friction
the membrane and the wound.
A scar looking for rupture.