i see you there playing with our daughter, a game involving tea cups and paint.
i’m standing right here but i cannot be there.
i see you there singing at the station, your voice like natalie merchant.
i wished i stayed there for one more song but the train took me away.
i see you in between train cars, going off to the side, telling me to go in, to look out.
i tried to stop you, but it was useless. instead i walked in and then you screamed.
i see you there, smashed and angry, every word one word too many, every drink one drink too many.
i remember feeling free and violent, wicked and wild, but i barely survived it.
i wish i could join you, any of you, but i’m just not him anymore.