hot damn, he says, let’s give it all away, he starts peeling off his tie and his shirt. he isn’t much to look at, but the shirt is nice and the tie is of the highest quality.
come right up, one day only! he shouts. he scrambles for a milk crate to stand on and while shuffling to and fro he fumbles off his shoes, a sock, tosses them into the sky. italian, with tassles. last year’s but he had barely broken in the sole.
hot damn, he says, i’m just giving it all away today, and with that he unbuckles and whips the belt out with his left hand. it’s a bit awkward but he manages to swing it over his head like a lasso once or twice before he lets go of it.
so of course you know what’s coming next! he smiles, licking his lips, he looks absolutely terrible now, standing with one black sock on, the other off, pale white ankle, so vulnerable, so weak, so exposed.
you know it people, he grimaces trying to unbutton the inner button of his pants, the one he never knew what it was for but he gets to it, and strips them off, pants and briefs all in one go, and he’s laughing hysterically.
hot damn, he says and he swings them over his head again, this time with his right hand because it’s easier that way, he should’ve known.
it’s really not all that bad, he says, choking on his own laughter, swing his clothing over his head, gyrating his hips as if he was in a hula hoop, hot damn it ain’t half bad now is it?