the sadness of waiting for him to return to comeback to be here with her here in the dark to keep the dark at bay despite everything despite the years despite his wife and she waits and waits until she cannot wait anymore and then decides to wait some more until it was much too late
and he waits for every opportunity every spare moment to be with her he aches for her he yearns for her but unwilling to break open his life afraid afraid that the spell would be broken if he was ever to give himself over what would he do then when she left what would he do alone in the dark and when he does she’s already gone the pride keeps him from saying something more anything about it anymore
until he sees her again years later and the itching is there again but neither one says anything about it and he wishes things were different and she wonders if ever she was truly done with him and he sees her eyes and cannot stop staring and with him staring she cannot help but wonder if only she waited a bit longer
and they barely touch in the bookstore as if afraid although he thinks of the swell of her breasts and the curve of her hips and she thinks of how he bit her neck and moved his hand between her thighs and it was never just about sex with them some other thing that waited for them on the other side and he wishes he was there again in her apartment from years ago in the dark where they were caught between staying and leaving and waiting anything other than where he was now
despite this she smiles and kisses him briefly on the cheek and walks out without looking back like she always did and it was that one lack of a gesture that kept him from giving himself over and she crosses the avenue she returns to her life without telling him she had eventually married without telling him she still thought of him from time to time but sometimes it was bitter and sometimes sweet without telling him she had grown to think of him fondly but it was difficult at times because of the damage the waiting had done
despite this he smiles and kisses her cheek briefly and pauses because something was different he could no longer imagine the feel of her lips which struck him as odd to suddenly forget because even in his dreams he could still taste them and here he was letting go again watching her leave all pleasantries aside not having told her that he was alone so utterly alone in the dark and he was still waiting for her if only in his dreams to tell him she would have waited a little longer if only he had asked her to.