how to go back to the dream, dreaming, as if it never happened, no wounds to heal, no mountain to climb, no bare feet cut along the rocks, no fingernails cracked desperate, where i was this rock, this point of arrival, this steady pace of the sun, a sure gravity of place, instead of this alien shifting sand, this thing i do not recognize in the mirror, this stain, i touch the glass and i feel nothing, i touch myself and i feel nothing, i touch her and all i feel is pain, i touch my children and i feel the skin of a heart that should still be beating, i touch the walls and i feel the regret of no longer belonging to any of it.