and i dreamt and dreamt and dreamt until i was so lost with waking up and looking at the time someone was saying “will you look at the time?” and i couldn’t put my finger on the voice whether it was a man or a woman’s instead i curled up even deeper into the silence and covered my ears they were wet because they were bleeding and the pillow was sticky but i couldn’t look at my hands i had to keep my eyes shut but there they were opening again and again and the time wouldn’t change and all i kept thinking was everything adds up to being left alone everything adds up to this everything adds up.