there has to be a way to rebuild a future and pick and choose pieces of the past. did i not say this already, i didn’t i say this before? didn’t i wish for this? i’ve destroyed so much. ruiner. faker. crippled. how to begin again, how to begin without a beginning? nonsense, pebbles in the mouth, dirt between teeth. mumbler. liar. stain. carved out, hollow, even in your son’s eyes, looking at you for something, looking for anything. your daughter on the other hand sees delight, your daughter calls you, your daughter hugs you impulsively. dreamer. believer. hope.