and the moon was this haunting orange looming over the horizon and i was driving towards it unstoppable undeterred and i thought of her how she wept of her father’s death how she held my hand and then kissed my lips and the night seemed to catch up with us and we were too far away to ever return home and all there was one empty gas station after another one abandoned motel after another and her skin was dusty and my eyes burned and i wonder now if he hadn’t died if she hadn’t asked me to bury him if she hadn’t asked anything of me at all would i have delivered the killing blow would i have begged for her forgiveness eventhough i had done exactly what she had wanted me to do?