and right after she says, i’m thinking of her, are you thinking of her and i said, i never think of her at all, and she frowns in the dark ad stiffens against me, i don’t believe you, i don’t believe you, and i try to smell her, i try to bring her back to me, and i feel her leave me in the dark even if she doesn’t move, i feel her leaving and i want to try to convince her but i can’t, i’ve told all that i have to say, all of it and i cannot bear to repeat any of it again