not dreaming, all surreal, eyes open to this state, near panic. children amok, little time, little caring, dig deep. kindness there, selflessness there, learn from her. beauty, patience, grace. have none of it, no need for it. all grip, all jagged, all bone splinter. but to yearn, to learn to yearn, to learn how, be beauty, patience and grace. impossible but for the desire.