two things do not make another. he asks me, being kirk to his spock, have you ever thought that maybe it’s chemical? like try taking sami-e. and i think, no i’m not crazy, this isn’t mental. it’s behavioral. it’s when i stop doing that the rabbit hole looms and devours. the minute i rest properly and enter the small death of sleep only to resurrect back into my daughter prying open my eyes. then i return. two things to not make another. two things simply make two things more than what you had before.