always in this liminal fucking state yearning for the american dream and an alternative to property ownership, career instability and 401k’s shoved down the back of the throat. i can’t help but stare. i am staring and do not know how to shift my gaze onto some epiphany and resolution to all of this. i never wanted this for myself, for my wife, for my children. how did this happen? how was i convinced? why was i convinced? why have i become unconvinced? where is the lack?
he says to me, why boy, isn’t it obvious? nothing wrong with it or the rest.
you are the lack, you are the despair.