is this the end, have we reached? the end to sorrow and pain and remorse and regret and the naggling and anxiety that all of this could’ve been better, that you could’ve done better by them for them? is this end?
no. it goes on like this. forever and more, cascading series of spirals and spirals. the trick is to keep your head about, or rather to keep your head out of it as much as possible.
Monthly Archives: December 2009
this can be
and the webwork and the spindlewbes arch into the ether of all that is and all i will be and the coulds and shouldn’ts mean nothing, the hopes and laments mean nothing, the regrest and guilt once paramount become transparent, only the love of this, the children beside me, my love beside me, this in front of me, the capacity, the mere potential: yes, this can be enough, this can be extraordinary.
knowing the unstuck
dont i know you from somewhere? didn’t i know you? dont i know you? should i? it’s bothering me, this recognition, like filament stuck between the tooth anf gum. it’s annoying and hurtful and vitaly important to figure out.
did i know you from before? when the skies ran from orange to purple and the breezes of the night carried tunes from the raging 20’s? did i know you from then?
house keeping
like magic man, i make it like magic, i spin spaghetti out of membranes and cotton candy from spinal taps and check it out jack, check out the vicious way i slide between the here and how and you all fall apart like dust bunnies caught up in the broom of my vehemence.
the broom of my vehemence, like an angry maid on adderall.
tasty
three fourths finished a lifetime ago and petals like icicles gouged in the eyes and all i see are pretty oranges bursting between the teeth and nothing gets stuck in the vein, nothing gets jammed up, we all flow, the blood flow, no traffic here onto the curb, even our intestines slide into the sewers like fat on a buttered skillet.
the shaping of it, of him, of you
and the shaping of it, of him, of you, leaves you wretched, makes him cringe. how can i be this way, how can he fail like this over and over? how do you do it, day in, day out? does he feel no shame?
his daughter in your arms, you child, my child, i’m broken my little girl, he’s still trying to figure out how to be. do you want him to? do you really know how to live? can you fix him?