recently he fell and smashed his teeth and his mouth was bloody and i was horrified and felt nothing and thought to myself they’re only baby teeth they’re only baby teeth and afterwards when the dentist finally saw him and told me he would need his front teeth removed and walked out of the examination room to find an oral surgeon that could take a two year old i held him closely and wept i could not hold it anymore i could not hold him any tighter but i did in the end just before the surgeon needled his gums and the nurses tried to tell him it was going to be ok i had my legs wrapped around his and my arm gripped his little hands and he screamed while i pulled his head tight against my chest my darling boy my darling boy they ripped your teeth out because we had to and later much later weeks later i whispered to him while giving him his vitamin i am sorry my son i didnt save you it was my fault i couldnt save your teeth and he had his arms wrapped around my neck and fingers tucked in my hair and he replied no daddy no it was my fault i broke my teeth it was my fault and i write this now the day after and i weep all over again