i was dreaming, i once had a dream:
i was tall and strong and beautiful
i was nimble and sometimes very afraid.
but often times i was brave, braver than most.
i saw the world as an orchard and i had evberything that was promised to me.
above all else, i was a man of my word, a man of words.
but i was never any of those things.
i was craven and hostile, meek and angry.
i was a facade, everything was veneer.
the world was sour around me.
and now, now i no longer dream.
i am blemished and broken.
i am shattered and without respite.
the flowers that bloom around are under constant threat.
i want to protect from all things.
above all else, i want to protect them from myself.