i am useless and without hope. i spearhead but do not lead. i can figure it out, but have nothing to show for it. i do not know how i came to this, i do not know how i’ve so little time left. a lifetime and this was it, squandered and so very alone. so untouched, unmarked, unremarkable, unscathed, but scathing, vicious, cruel and ultimately, ultimately worthless.