not yet a word

isn’t it funny? all these metaphors for life: computers, language, music. all these things, a thing for something else, a place holder for something we know is there but do not yet have a word for it.

Balance Cycle, Week 1, BACK/BICEPS

OOO.308 V-Sculpt
Zip Kip Iso Chin Ups 10
Alt Squat Conc Curls 30/8
Band Mower (R) 52.5/10
Band Mower (L) 52.5/10
Supine Curls (Hammer) 40/9
Pull Up X (Wide) 7
Flip Grip Arm Curls 25/8
V-Row (Bent Over Rows) 52.5/10
One Arm Conc Curls (R) 35/8
One Arm Conc Curls (L) 35/8
Flip Grip (LF) 8
Down The Rack 35,30,25/10
21’s (back) 3,3,3
Shrug High & Tight Curls 25/3×4
Pull Up X (Wide) 8
Shrug High & Tight Curls 30/3×4
21’s (back) 3,3,3
Alt Squat Conc Curls 30/8
Band Mower (R) 52.5/10
Band Mower (L) 52.5/10
Supine Curls (Hammer) 35/9
V-Row (Bent Over Rows) 52.5/8
One Arm Conc Curls (R) 35/7
One Arm Conc Curls (L) 35/7
Zip Kip Iso Chin Ups 6
Flip Grip Arm Curls 20/10
Flip Grip (RF) 6
Down The Rack 35/8,30,25/7

Balance Cycle, Week 1, LEGS

OOO.109 Bun Shaper
Side to Side Squats 40
Knee Kick Back Lunge (R) 20
Knee Kick Back Lunge (L) 20
Side Kicks (R) 25
Side Kicks (L) 25
8 Card Pick Up HARD
Alt Crossover Step Back Lunges 26
Crossover Back Kicks (R) 30
Crossover Back Kicks (L) 30
Sit Down Squats 16
Super Lunges 14
Core Crunch Side Kicks (R) 10
Core Crunch Side Kicks (L) 10
Side to Side Squats 40
Knee Kick Back Lunge (R) 20
Knee Kick Back Lunge (L) 20
Side Kicks (R) 25
Side Kicks (L) 25
8 Card Pick Up HARD
Alt Crossover Step Back Lunges 26
Crossover Back Kicks (R) 20
Crossover Back Kicks (L) 20
Sit Down Squats 16
Super Lunges 16
Core Crunch Side Kicks (R) 16
Core Crunch Side Kicks (L) 16

because it is the last

how long how long how long until this madness ends and the world finally falls apart leave boiled meat sloughing off the bone and it’s all asunder and done and finished and finally finally finally we’re at an end and we can breathe because it’s the last.

Balance Cycle, Week 1, CHEST/SHOULDERS/TRICEPS

OOO.310 Upper Body X
2 Dog Push-Ups 11
4 Ball Pike Press 10 (2 Ball)
Forearm Plank Tri Kickbacks (R) 15/10+
Forearm Plank Tri Kickbacks (L) 15/10+
2 Dog Push-Ups 11
4 Ball Pike Press 12 (2 Ball)
Forearm Plank Tri Kickbacks (R) 20/10+
Forearm Plank Tri Kickbacks (L) 20/10+
Caturocker Pushups (slide in/out) 10
Strip Press #1 45/10
Strip Press #2 40/9
Strip Press #3 35/9
One Arm Bench Dips (R) 8 (legs bent)
One Arm Bench Dips (L) 8 (legs bent)
Caturocker Pushups (slide in/out) 10
Strip Press #1 45/9
Strip Press #2 40/8
Strip Press #3 35/8
One Arm Bench Dips (R) 8 (legs bent)
One Arm Bench Dips (L) 8 (legs bent)
3-Ball Burpee 8 (2 ball)
Scarecrow Press 35/8
Side Forearm Plank Tri Ext (R) 10/10+
Side Forearm Plank Tri Ext (L) 10/10+
3-Ball Burpee 10 (2 Ball)
Scarecrow Press 35/8
Side Forearm Plank Tri Ext (R) 10/10+
Side Forearm Plank Tri Ext (L) 10/10+
Side Arm Balance Push-Up 10
Bent-Over Circle Fly 8/18
Single Overhead Tri Ext L/R 35/8
Side Arm Balance Push-Up 10
Bent-Over Circle Fly 8/20
Single Overhead Tri Ext L/R 35/8

While shopping…

the sudden sense of failure, of internal implosion: i want to be free of this, i want to stand absolutely still and have it overwhelm me, have it wipe me out finally and completely and totally. i want to stop feeling everything and nothing, i want move beyond feeling broken.