did you dream this? i slept through waking nightmares and sleep through precious moments where i rest and they rest and we laugh but i am gone, absent, ethereal, unreal.
i cringe at the thought. i cringe at all thoughts. i cringe at my thoughts. i cringe at the sight of me: imperfect, oblong, irregular, irrational, unattractive, ugly, obtuse, meat sack sagging through the kitchen, the living room, the stair the bedroom: avoid all mirrors at all costs.
only for the close ups, the face, the bags under the eyes, the eyebrows dense, the slight grey at the temples. just barely looking at, if at all.