have to ruin things at the end…

do you not see how this ruins me? do you not see how this leaves me speechless and incapable? do you not see the corner you’ve backed me into? do you not see how cold the concrete of the floor is? do you not see how my face is pressed into the brick? do you not see how my arms are frayed and my tongue has turned to ash? do you not see how, each time you say this, i believe you? do you not see how each time you say this, i think of escape? do you not see, how each time you say this, i think to myself, he would’ve been better off if i was dead?