Asking for permission, permission to breathe, permission to weep, permission to love, permission to beg, permission to forgive. Of all the crimes and sins, perhaps the most sacrilegious request of all: to forgive and to be forgiven. No solace, only long empty days and terrible nights. I find myself aching, bent over double but I will not kneel to him, I cannot forgive him, he is everything wrong with this life, just the simple fact that he still lives.