Yes, I know I am ill. I know that the pathos and sorrow I feel have nothing to do with the life I have lived or what I have seen.
Others have gone through worse.
My life is a dream fulfilled: a loving and beautiful wife, two kids, a big beautiful house, an easy job, tv’s, movies… I am want of nothing.
And yet, and yet…
I know it’s chemical. I know the despair I feel is an arrangment of neurons and synapses out of sync. I know I am wired wrong.
But, where would I be without my anger?
Would I have any of this, you, this life, if I wasn’t this way?
And I love you because you bear with it. I love you because despite what I am, you love who I am.
It is a truth that needs repeating.