i can imagine how someone reading through this site would imagine that there is nothing happy here, that there is no hope. but there is, there is. just because you write of broken things does not mean you are always broken, or that your life is.
i have a son on the way. i have a beautiful wife who loves me despite of my faults, and they are immense. i finally broke through to my future goddaughter. she went from crying at the sight of me to holding my finger and pulling me along. of course this will all change when i dunk her in september for her christening.
i’ve been given more responsibility at work and work has gotten even more busy than before. my daughter, completely on her own, hugs me and tells me she loves me. i think she actually misses me from time to time.
all in all, it’s a good life. not the life i dreamed for myself, not the entire life that i would want to be living instead. but as long as i can write about damage and pain and suffering, as long as i can engage with everything writing allowed to happen for me, then it’s enough. almost more than enough.