i am riddled with fears. just at the edge. how different than ever before, careening into the dark, in to the light.
they’re getting older now. she breaks my heart, she toes out into the age where everything became a disaster for me. where i was ruined. and i want to clutch at her, to yank her back, drag her by her heels. tell her, you don’t want this, all that’s before you is mortality and helplessness. all that awaits you is the relentlessness of time.
and him, the rascal, the one off. his own man, his own beat and drummer. the drummer and the drum, the beat and the skip. o beautiful son, you delight me and vex me. you are impossible to understand already.
when did all this happen?