Earlier today, a construction crew was driving down the block pulling out old cable with the cherry picker RAISED and ripped right thru my internet line. I approached the guys and said hey you know what you did?

One of them says, ya sorry, you have optimum or Verizon?

I tell him Verizon.

He says, ok we can’t touch it, you have to call them.

So I call Verizon, they tell me earliest to fix is Friday. I tell them how does that work? Everyone is remote now, what do I tell my boss?

They go, we understand your issue.

I say, no you don’t, I’ve been a loyal customer for ten years.

We appreciate your loyalty.

If you appreciate my loyalty get someone here tomorrow.  otherwise this is all thoughts and prayers. Show me your appreciation.

We’re sorry, we can’t bump someone else.

I say, you mean to tell me everyone else scheduled for tomorrow pays Verizon 400/month? Been with Verizon for ten years? That would show me appreciation. Then I tell them, that’s alright, here’s a picture, I’m at the Verizon store right now to cancel all my services.

They put me on hold. Guy comes back and tells me tomorrow afternoon.

Motherfuckers man