Always there, waiting, tugging, a constant threat, I bury it so deep and I think I am ok, I fool myself I am ok, I can tell myself I am ok and I am whole and I can stay steady, but it’s a sham, a lie, a palm obstructing the view of everything gyrating out of control on a wild axis and it mocks me, it says, ‘soon, soon this will all be mine and I will tear it asunder before your very eyes’

But someone else says, ‘this is what you signed up for’
They pick me up, ‘you cannot afford this’
They snarl, ‘snap the fuck out of it’