when the affair comes out in the open, she cannot believe him. cannot believe a word he says, cannot believe this is happening to her. he tells her he still loves her, he tells her it will never happen again, but she does not believe him, but after a time, she can fool herself into forgetting. he is remorseful, he is kind, he weeps openly standing at the door begging for forgiveness and she wants to believe him. she looks at him and cannot place him there, cannot place him here, as someone who has been with her for so long, as someone who had betrayed her. she watches him, watches for the signs that she missed, did she ever really see him. they make love, he tells her he loves her, he holds her tightly. she wants to believe and perhaps she more easily would if she felt she had a choice.