I’ve been deeply overwhelmed by a sense of anticipation: I cannot imagine the selling off of abacus. So much of our plans hinge on it. This is the longest job I have ever held and I am… not tired exactly. Disinterested. I have a boss that is very ambitious but that’s not me anymore. I’ve done all that already. We had 100 customers when I started. We now have over a thousand. And I was a big part of that. Hundreds of clients know my name. I’ve done my time. l’ve paid my dues.

I miss my son. I miss my daughter. I miss my wife. I miss… me.

And most of my day is spent being all these other people. A technician. A mentor. A therapist. A deal maker. A strategist. A hero. A villain. They’re all an aspect of me, but not the me that I’m ready to be.

I want to be done.